Living with Tinnitus

I remember the day the doctor spoke the word: “tinnitus.” For a moment, time stood still. All I could hear was the pounding of my own blood in my ears. In that instant, my world shattered—the certainty that my life would remain as it was—and I broke down in tears.

These lines are my very personal story; every person affected experiences their own journey.

But let me start at the beginning:

It was just an ordinary day at the office when, in the middle of a phone call, a loud roaring suddenly filled both of my ears. I could no longer understand the person on the other end, and panic began to rise within me. Although it subsided slightly, it never fully went away. So I packed up my things, spoke with my boss—who said it sounded like sudden hearing loss—and headed straight to the doctor.

In the waiting room, I tried to convey how urgent it felt not to be able to hear properly. But he brushed off the symptom, declaring, “It’s clearly just a middle-ear effusion,” and assured me it would resolve on its own. In that moment I felt deeply unsettled: I had read that sudden hearing loss requires immediate corticosteroid infusions. Yet I left the practice feeling dismissed, and the roaring persisted.

Only when the noise hadn’t abated by the next day—and had shifted into my left ear—did I go to an ENT specialist. He performed a hearing test, which returned unfavorable results, and prescribed a medication to improve circulation. Unfortunately, a high-dose steroid therapy was no longer possible—and would likely have been ineffective anyway, since it needed to be administered right at the onset. When that treatment failed as well, I returned home diagnosed with tinnitus in my left ear, and had to learn to live with it.

That stark contrast between being waved off and receiving prompt treatment reminded me that you can’t rely on anyone else—and that, as a patient, you must demand help immediately and persist until you get it.

There are moments when I want to scream—not at anyone else, but at the noise itself. Instead, I take a deep breath, focus on my breathing, and refuse to give up.

Yes, I cry. Sometimes uncontrollably—in the supermarket, in a restaurant, or simply at home when the noise has no distraction. It comes and goes; sometimes it’s loud, very loud, sometimes quieter. The more stressed I become, the louder it gets. The worst part is, you have no control over it—you can’t regulate or stop it—it comes and goes!

When the tinnitus intensifies, a bad mood often creeps in: every tone in my ear feels like a barb to my spirits. I become irritable, impatient—and even small things cause frustration. Fatigue and concentration problems only heighten the distress, because I feel like I’m losing control. On days like that, it really helps to take intentional short breaks and check in with myself.

I’ve learned that self-care is not a luxury but a necessity. When the noise torments me, I try to distract myself with podcasts, music, family time, or gardening—though it doesn’t always work, and then I’m just trying to make it through the day. It’s easier to give up than to keep fighting this invisible enemy. It’s easier said than done to ignore it, to think about something else, to simply forget it. Anyone who suffers knows exactly what I mean.

Tinnitus may be my constant companion, but it does not define me. I am more than this sound in my head, in my ear. I am laughter, tears, anger, joy—and everything in between. And I refuse to be defeated by a noise.

To everyone reading this who is also affected: feel your despair. Let the tears flow, show your emotions, and talk about it. Then stand up again! There are ways to improve quality of life despite tinnitus.

• Sound therapy: Whether white noise, nature sounds, or calming music—targeted audio sources help me find moments of distraction and peace.

• Relaxation techniques: Breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, and mindfulness meditation reduce stress and release inner tension.

• Daily structure: Fixed rituals in the morning and evening—from conscious waking up to bedtime routines—give my day stability and security.

• Support & therapy: Talking through fears, successes, and setbacks in self-help groups or with a psychotherapist strengthens solidarity and broadens coping strategies. Cognitive-behavioral therapy can help reframe thoughts and reactions.

Tinnitus is the perception of sounds (whistling, roaring, buzzing) without an external source. For sufferers, this phenomenon can lead to sleep disturbances, concentration problems, and emotional distress—even suicidal thoughts.

Possible causes include:

• Noise damage & age-related hearing loss: Loud music or machinery noise can damage the delicate hair cells in the inner ear.

• Ear diseases & middle-ear problems: Infections, effusions (fluid behind the eardrum), or other issues.

• Medications that affect hearing.

• Circulatory disorders impairing blood flow to the ear.

• Jaw & cervical spine issues.

• Stress & psychological factors.

“It can, but it doesn’t have to.”

Don’t give up! Even on the worst days, when despair threatens, do not let tinnitus enslave you.